A Quick Collection of
From man's sweat and God's love,beer
came into the world
Mother's in the kitchen washing out the jugs,
Sister's in the pantry bottling the suds,
Father's in the cellar mixing up the hops'
Johnny's on the front porch watching for the cops.
A woman is alot like a beer,they smell good,they look good,and
you'd step over your own mother to get one.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an
airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or
some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach
you to keep your mouth shut.
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than
alcohol has taken out of me.
He was a wise man who invented beer.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet
it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of
beer; they just like to pee alot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen
and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a
vital ingredient in beer
I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
with his fools.
--For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so
let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
It only takes one drink to get me drunk.
The problem is I can never remember if it is the 12th or 13th.
- George Burns
Englishmen are like their own beer:
Frothy on top, dregs on the bottom, the middle excellent.
Great beer bellies are made, not born.
Work: The curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
Drinking is bad taste but tastes good.
- Franklin P. Adams
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to
the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due
to the lack of alcohol.
I never drink anything stronger than gin
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen
the cork to my lunch?
If God had intended us to drink beer, He
would have given us stomachs.
All other nations are drinking Ray
Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
Without question, the greatest invention
in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also
a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with
One more drink and I'd be under the
When I heated my home with oil, I used
an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep
comfortably warm for an entire winterwith slightly over half
that quantity of beer.
My problem with most athletic challenges
is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my
-- Tom Cahill
Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put
anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat.
A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
Woman talks. Beer doesn' t
If you see a beer, do it a favour, and
drink it. (every
normal man )...
God drinks beer too...
“Beer makes you feel the way you ought
to feel without beer.”
“There can't be good living where there is not good
“Life ain't all beer and skittles, and more's the pity.”
“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet
Homer Simson in The Simpsons
“The government will fall that raises the price of beer.”
“Everybody's old enough for a beer, ain't that right, Mule?”
“Religions change, beer and wine remain.”
“I think this would be a good time for a beer”
Franklin D. Roosevelt
“Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.”
David Rains Wallace
“Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished
Frederick the Great
“It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of
coffee used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out
of the country in consequence. Everybody is using coffee. If
possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer.”
Frederick the Great
“You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter
how rich you are.”
Colonel Adolphus Busch
“We're wanted men, we'll strike again, but first let's have a
“I work until beer o'clock.”
“Keep your libraries, your penal institutions, your insane
asylums … give me beer. You think man needs rule, he needs
beer. The world does not need morals, it needs beer. The souls
of men have been fed with indigestibles, but the soul could make
use of beer.”
“Beer is an improvement on water itself.”
“Everyone needs something to believe in … and I believe I'll
have another beer.”
“I drink with impunity … or anyone else who invites me.”
“Here's to a long life and a merry one, A quick death and an
easy one, A pretty girl and a true one, A cold beer - and
“Drink up and be somebody!”
The Green Jackets
“Beer glorious beer. Sing the praises of the first man to take
barley and ferment the results now known as beer. Tip a cold
pilsner to that unknown brewer. Give thanks to the beer god. I
know not what course others may take but as for me … give me
“I never drink beer before Noon. Lucky for me, it is always
after Noon somewhere.”
“And on the seventh day, God made beer.”
“Everything I wanted to know about life I learned from
“You don't like jail? Naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in
“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I
bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.”
“One more drink and I'd be under the host.”
“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
“A drink a day keeps the shrink away.”
“With heigh! The sweet birds, O how they sing! Doth set my
pugging tooth on edge. For a quart of ale is a dish for a
“Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the
“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend
time with his fools.”
“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall
asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no
sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to
“Blessed is a mother who gives birth to a brewer”
Enscription at the U Fleku brewery in Prague, Czech Republic
“To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
“There is nothing worse than a closed pub”
Judy Ashworth, Californian alehouse pioneer
“There is nothing worse than an empty homebrew bottle”
Keith Kayler-Thomson, homebrew shop proprietor, Geelong,
“While beer brings gladness, don't forget that water only
makes you wet”
Harry Leon Wilson
“No solider can properly fight unless he is properly fed on
beef and beer”
John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough
“Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation”
Meyer Breslau 1880
“He who has not been at a tavern knows not what a paradise it
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“If you can boil water, you can brew beer”
“I recommend bread, meat, vegetables and beer”
“From man's sweat and God's love beer came into this world”
St Arnulf, Bishop of Metz
“Give a man a beer and he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to
brew and he'll waste a lifetime”
“Our liver is happy, our heart is joyful. May Ninkasi live
together with you”
From Hymn to Ninkasi, the Sumerian beer goddess (1800BC)
“Some of my best friends are beers”
“If God had wanted us to filter our beer, he wouldn't have
given us livers”
Larry Bell, Kalamazoo Brewing Company,
Kalamazoo, Michigan, US
“Another one of them new worlds. No beer, no women, no pool
parlors, no nothin' ”
Earli Holliman in Forbidden Planet (1956)
“They who drink beer will think beer”
“I'm allergic to grass. Hey, it would be worse; I could be
allergic to beer”
Golfer Greg Norman
“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen
and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a
vital ingredient in beer”
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy”
“It was as natural as eating, and to me as necessary, and I
would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking …
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